I'm not a Braverman....

We all tend to picture others in their lives, right?
We imagine their surroundings and circumstances to be based on their facebook photos, twitter updates, and blog posts.
I'm the only one?
I need help.

Well, generally when I picture them, they are doing all of the important things that I never get done.
I see them with a cup of coffee, a clean house, and fashionable clothing.
They never seem depressed.
They eat healthy.
And they completely adore their spouse, children, and life in general.
Basically, they all look like an episode of Parenthood.  Which I love, love, LOVE by the way, and have found that I compare myself constantly to one or another of the Braverman women.
Why can't I be a Braverman?
All I want in life is to be a Braverman.

I told you that I need help.
I seriously do, because instead of getting up and getting stuff done around the house that isn't a television set, I'm sitting here contemplating how I can model my life after one.

But that's sort of the point of the post...
Whether you are comparing yourself to someone on tv, or you are comparing yourself to someone on facebook, either way...
they don't really exist.
While we realize that tv characters are actors, we often forget that facebook, twitter, and blog characters can be actors as well.

Real people. Pretending.
I'm not saying that if you facebook, tweet, or blog, you aren't real.
That's not what I'm saying at all.
I'm saying that it can be this way.

I guess what brought this about is how many times lately that I've had people tell me how much they love my positive attitude, my constant happiness, and my cheerful outlook.
This surprises me because I'm with me all the time and that's not how I seem to me.

I struggle with depression.
I have for most of my life.
The Zoloft helps, but it isn't a cure.

I struggle with overeating.
Always have.
Food is a comfort to me.
Good food makes me feel safe.
Like I can afford things.
I know. It's crazy.

I've also made some pretty major errors in my life.
I've hurt people in ways that can only be undone by God.
In addition, I used to be a less-than-awesome mom.
I was never abusive or horrible.
Just young.
And never entirely present in my season.
And I have spent the last oh-so-many years trying to make up for it.
I shove things in drawers so my house appears organized.
I leave food in the fridge until it begs to be thrown away.
I spend money I can't afford.
On things I don't need.
And then I whine about how broke I am.

I start things and don't finish them.
I sleep till 10:00 o'clock in the morning at least three days a week.
I rarely fold the laundry.
And I only clean my bathroom when I'm pretty sure the husband can no longer stand it.

Now here is my point.
And I really went out on a limb today to prove it to you.
Here's to hoping it works.
When you see a lot of negative things all piled up at once, you get one big ugly picture.
Likewise, when you see a lot of positive things all piled up at once, you get one big beautiful picture.
For example...
As big as my tendency is to spend, I'm also a saver.
And I may sleep till 10:00, but I have health issues that cause mornings to be really difficult for me.
I shove things in drawers so my house looks organized because I have decided that I would rather spend time with the kids, or with my husband, or even with a good book.
Life is short.
And I may have been a not-so-pleasant momma for a few years a long time ago, but my kids and family are my whole freakin life now.
They're a big deal around here.
Which is one of the reasons I start things and don't finish them.
When anything gets in the way of the family, I always default back to where my heart is.

The idea is balance.
Most people aren't exactly as they seem.
Good or bad.

And all of them, whether good or bad, are absolutely loved by God.
So before you judge them.
Or before you judge yourself for not being like them.
You might just be looking at one side of the equation.

Love people.
Love you.
Most importantly. Love God.
He's crazy worth it.


Pamela said…
I can't tell you how much this post helped me.
I admire you for being so honest and being so real.
The fact of the matter is, you never know the battle someone is facing. There is always someone we can help, someone who's struggling, someone who looks like they have it all together, but really, there is so much that happens behind closed doors and behind the smiles. We all face battles, and I believe life is about how we can overcome them..and I know for myself, it can definitely be done with God's help.
I know He doesn't give us anything we can't handle<3
You're amazing, Christa!
Thank you, Pamela! Your words of agreement & encouragement mean a lot. Glad I'm not just hanging out there by myself on this. :)

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