My beautiful mess...

The thing about seasons is that while you may anticipate the change, you are not always prepared.
How often have I found myself shocked at the change in the weather, or the need for flannel underwear, again?
And how many times have I been genuinely surprised when Christmas decorations chase down the Fourth of July in our local department store?

Equally true with my life seasons.  And I have experienced more than a few.
New mom.
Mom of toddler.
Mom of toddler plus new child.
Mom of preschool children.
Mom of four children under the age of ten.
(by the way...finding matching socks for any family member during that particular season was a logistics nightmare. can I get an Amen?)

Mom of people in high school; and simultaneously mom of people who knew everything I did not know and apparently never would....Apparently.
Unusual season; but somehow also very rewarding.

Mom of married people.
Mom of people with bills to pay, cars to fix, and dreams to be had.
Mom of people who still need me.
Mom of people who spend all of their available cash to purchase my favorite perfume.  Because 40 is an important birthday; and perhaps the perfume will make up for the gray hairs that will now need to be covered.
Although no one mentions the gray.  It is called tact; and I taught them that.

Wife that stays home when the children are little.  Torn between the desire to be there with them; and the never-ending curiosity about those in the fascinating world of business.
Wife that moves from selfish, to giving, and back to selfish again...and again and again.
Wife that is loved unconditionally. forever and ever. without end.
Wife that loves in return.
Wife that forgets how.
Wife that learns how again.

Life is complicated, and messy, and beautiful.
It smells like roses & laundry, and sunshine & burnt dinner.  And it forces us to look at who we truly are. Who we thought we were.
Who we want to be.
And why.

And I wouldn't change a moment of it.
As if I could.


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